Thoughts

Why I Am No Longer Sober

sober

Nearly 4 months ago, I posted this video.

If you suffer from ‘laziness’ as many of us do and cannot bring yourself to watch the entire video, I will present its main points. I talked about my experience with alcohol in high school and how I used it as a social serum. At every party or get-together, I would get get inconceivably intoxicated and end up on the floor. It even got to the point where I was turning up to school with beer breath. Like a true addict, I became dependent on alcohol and used it to deal with my past, present and future. 

Fast-forward to the time I made the video, things had changed. I became aware of my alcoholism and decided that there was only one solution. I wanted to achieve happiness without the use of a brain-numbing agent and thus, at the age of 19, I put down the bottle.

Last night I had a few glasses of wine. You may be a little confused, considering that sobriety does not usually entail drinking alcohol. I guess I am not sober anymore then.

I started drinking alcohol again because I realised things. I don’t mean that in a Kylie Jenner kind of way… I mean that in a life-changing kind of way. Sobriety has taught me that I am capable of achieving happiness without blacking out. I can go to a party without being drunk. I can go clubbing without being drunk. I can dance without being drunk. I can go on midnight-adventures without being drunk. I can exist without being drunk.

However, the true revelation is knowing that I can do all of those things without being drunk and still be happy. I cannot describe to you how empowering that is.

So why I have I started drinking again? Because I now have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I understand its place in the social world and how the buzz of it can make things fun. However, I now know that it is just another option and not necessarily the better one. There is nothing wrong with having a few cocktails and dancing with friends but there is also nothing wrong with being sober and dancing with friends. I can find happiness either way.

Once you dismantle your dependence on alcohol, that is when you can enjoy it. I drink once, maybe twice a week and never get more than ‘slightly tipsy’. I am not saying that it is easy, because it isn’t. If you use alcohol to deal with emotional trauma, once you stop abusing it, you are going to have to confront the trauma. I promise you though, that it will lead to a better life than one you can only remember parts of.

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