“You look like a giraffe”, “gay bald ginger”, “Damn your foreheads gigantic.”
That is a mere goody-bag of what is said about me on the internet. The reality is, people don’t like me. I am in a homosexual relationship, I have an abnormally large forehead, my voice is high, I have freckles and I openly share my opinions. Those attributes come together to create difference and even though we are living in a progressive era, those who are different are still crucified… I am crucified.
This article does not contain a cure. I am unsure of how to open the minds of the ignorant and fill them with the knowledge that we are all collectively human. I wish I could do that but the history of this world has taught me that no matter how hard you try, some people will always be left unconvinced. On that basis, I only want to share with you what I am sure of; myself.
I don’t mean that in a “self-absorbed and overly-confident” kind of way either. I mean that in a “I know who I am and trust who I am” kind of way. I truly believe that resilience is built from self-love. If you can place faith in your way of being, then the opinions of others become less powerful. They cannot infest you with their narrow-minded thoughts because you do not exist within a narrow-minded world. You are more than what they know and you are sure of that fact.
What I have just described is my method of survival. It is the scripture of my existence and I do not know if my existence would be possible without it. That being said, I did not always have this knowledge. Once upon a time, people had the ability to destroy me. They could attach puppet strings to my insecurities and become the master of each and every thing that I hated about myself. The result was the desire for death. I didn’t want to live because others convinced that I shouldn’t live.
How did I overcome that? Not overnight, that’s for sure. The journey to self-love is not one that can be completed in 24 hours, 24 days, 24 months or even 24 years. I see it as a forever kind of journey because we constantly discover new things about ourselves that challenge our way of being. Somehow we have to find a way to accept and embrace those new things as well as the old things. Self-love is therefore less of something that can be perfected and more of something that can always be improved.
How do you improve it though? I think you begin the process by realising that we all exist with purpose. Some of us are gay for a reason, some of us are black for a reason and some of us can’t walk for a reason. You just have to trust those reasons and know that they are greater than all of the judgement in this world. It’s not a simple task but it’s one that we are capable of, it’s one that you are capable of.