Literature Thoughts

Sometimes I Want to Run Away

run away

You wake up during the witching hour; a time you were once scared of. You pull your suitcase from under the bed and open it to reveal the remnants of the life you have been living. You double check you have everything you need and when you realise you don’t, you smile. You quickly close the suitcase, not wanting to think twice, and pick it up with both hands. This is it. You are ready.

You quietly walk down the stairs and open the front door. You don’t look back because you have learnt by now that when you look back, you are not looking forward. You walk along the footpath towards the carriage, a yellow carriage, and the coachman takes hold of your life and places it in the boot. You take your seat, eyes still forward, and take a deep breath. You may not know where you are going but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you are going and if life isn’t about going, then what is it about?

What I have described to you is a fantasy of mine… Well a ‘sometimes’ kind of fantasy. I sometimes want to run away. Am I selfish for having this desire? Am I selfish for wanting to leave everything I know in exchange for what I don’t know? Yes… but haven’t you worked it out yet? We are all selfish.

I am infatuated with the unknown because I know too much about the known. We live our childhood, go to school, fall in love, fall out of love, fall in love again, wed, have children, get a promotion, attend a school reunion, get exiled to the land of elderly and then finally, meet with the Grim Reaper. This is the equation of the world I live in and probably, the world you live in too. It has been passed down from generation to generation and in result, it has become normalised.

Well I have to be honest with you… the more I think about it, the less normal it becomes. It cannot be normal to streamline our lives and be able to summarise in a sentence, our journey on this earth. That is why, every now and then, I break. I seriously consider packing a suitcase, travelling to the airport and flying into a new equation.

In writing this, I do not mean to undervalue your life. I simply ask that you look at it. Compare your own equation to the one that has been passed onto you. If you are happy with what you see, then I salute you… but if you are not happy, then maybe it’s time to pack a suitcase.

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