I have recently been listening to the podcast What’s The Tea, featuring RuPaul and the gorgeous Michelle Visage. As an avid fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race, I expected the podcast to be an extension of the show; a platform to talk about the Drag Queens and the competition. However, after only one episode, I have been bitch-slapped and taught that I should never go making assumptions.
RuPaul and Michelle actually delve into the oddities of life and question why we are here, how we are here and what we are here for. They constantly refer to the ‘human condition’ and how we are all students of the world, being taught lessons that manifest themselves in a multitude of ways. They stitch these philosophical muses into popular culture, interviews with guests and above all humour, which in my opinion, makes the podcast more ‘bingeable’ than Drag Race itself.
After listening to 20 episodes, yes 20 episodes, I have come to realise something; I live within my own head. In fact, as RuPaul and Michelle believe, many of us do. We think in relation to ourselves, we speak in relation to ourselves, we experience in relation to ourselves, and so on. It may be a subconscious act, but we are constantly worrying about how people perceive us and that worry defines us.
For example, on the first day of one of my jobs, I remember creating a thousand apocalyptic scenarios in my head, redoing my hair seven times, and nearly persuading myself to call in sick. This irrationality followed me to work and I ended up being scared of everything and anything. I even remember someone saying “hi” to me, to which I replied with “sorry”. In hindsight, that day was only a nightmare because I made it a nightmare, and for so long, that has been the story of my life but thankfully, I’m working towards writing a new story.
If you’re wanting to learn how to cut open your skull, push through you scalp and get out of your own head, I’m not sure I can teach you that. Contrary to the belief of New Zealand’s mental health system, we aren’t all the same. What works for me, may not work for you and vice versa. Nevertheless, what I can do is share with you what I know and then urge you begin your own hunt for the secret to not being your own worst enemy.
Knowing I am not an expert and in fact, anything but, here is a list of what sometimes, kind of, works for me.
- Not taking myself too seriously. I’m still trying to master the art of this, but ever since infancy, I’ve believed that my existence is profound and that I should constantly be trying to discover my purpose. As you can imagine, such philosophy doesn’t go down well at parties and I often end up crying in bed, exhausted by my own thoughts. Note to self; It’s okay to not have all the answers.
- Working out. Now I know some of you will protest this and that’s fine, but for me, I find that I need to exercise. It separates the body from self, and I come to realise that I am merely one animal among billions. I find solace in the feeling of insignificance because all of a sudden, there isn’t so much pressure surrounding my existence.
- Writing. With words I am able to rid myself of the thoughts that exhaust me and furthermore, make sense of them. Once I’ve emptied my mind, I can live a little less inside myself. If it wasn’t for this outlet, it is likely that I would currently be in a mental ward.
- Helping others. I am aware of how disgustingly cliché it sounds, but helping others is massively rewarding. To do it, you have to be out of your own head and the more time you spend out of your head, the easier it becomes.
Those are just a few of the things that stop me from being a complete selfish troll. I truly hope they serve as seeds to your own journey and teach you that getting out of your own head ain’t an impossible task. Now in the famous words of RuPaul, “Sashay away.” (If you don’t understand the reference, you better make it your job to).