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Thoughts

I’m Not Gay, I’m Pansexual

pansexual

This minor detail may not be important to a lot of you, but it’s important to me; I’m not gay. Ever since I started a relationship with my current boyfriend of three years, I was automatically assumed to be gay. At first I just dealt with it because the ‘gay’ label seemed a little more accurate than the ‘straight’ label. However, as time went on, I began to despise the label that I had so foolishly accepted as my own. Continue Reading

Thoughts

This Is Real, This Is Me

this is real, this is me

About a month ago, a close friend of mine said something about my blog and I haven’t been able to rid my mind of it since; “The way you write on your blog is a lot different to how you are in person.” I laughed it off, not thinking about the implications of her comment, and continued on with my day. However, as the day went on, her words grew within me and became a challenge to my soul. Why is it that how I write and how I am are two different things? I wasn’t able to answer that question for quite a few weeks but I think I finally have an answer to share. Continue Reading

Literature Thoughts

The Strangest Thing Happened Today

the strangest thing

The strangest thing happened today I encountered myself. I have been walking the earth for twenty years but I have never been able to see whom is doing that walking. Today I saw. I attended a university class named ‘Creative Writing: Voices’ and was forced to look upon my soul in all of its glory, in all of its distain.

I consider the act of writing to be innate. It is more than part of my existence, it is the reason for my existence. Weaving words together is a thoughtless task, one that I would compare to breathing. You don’t calculate the way in which you breathe, you simply breathe and I don’t calculate the way in which I write, I simply write. That is how it has always been and the child within me thought that is how it would always be. That child was wrong. Continue Reading

Reviews

Everything Wrong with the Revival of America’s Next Top Model

america's next top model

For the purpose of this article, I am going to have to subscribe to the stereotypes of homosexuality and declare my love for America’s Next Top Model. That being said, I am still ready to drag the show’s revival harder than Donald Trump gets dragged.

For those of you who weren’t made aware, Tyra Banks officially declared the end of the show in October of 2015. She believed it had come to its end and stated that cycle 22 would be the last. Following that announcement, all hell broke loose and we experienced the end of the world. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but people were genuinely upset… I sure was.  Continue Reading

Reviews

‘Please Like Me’: A Television Show Worthy of Obsession

please like me

Even with the most acclaimed of television shows, I am still able to keep my composure. Not even Game of Thrones was able to take my soul hostage until I finished each and every episode. I had control… I usually always have control. That was until ‘Please Like Me’. After subjecting myself to the ingenuity of the pilot episode, I subsequently finished all four seasons in a matter of days. Continue Reading

Reviews Thoughts

The Abomination That Was 2016

2016

This year has been a compilation of absolute bullshit. I am unsure of the science behind it all, but it seems that everyone has struggled. From an orange being elected president to the scandalous breakup of the UK from the European Union, everyone has been affected in some way.

I personally deem this year as unsatisfactory due to having more family drama than the Kardashians, navigating through the mental health system, experiencing a few things that nobody should have to experience and smashing my brand new iPhone 7. I am aware that the last one is highly materialistic and indicative of my privilege but nevertheless, it has solidified my hate for 2016. Continue Reading

Thoughts

I Bite My Fingernails

fingernails

I cannot conjure any memory of having long fingernails because I never have. Since birth my fingers have always been in my mouth and my teeth have always been fixated on removing the nails from their rightful place. I never quite understood the motivation behind such an act, but I now have clarity; I live with anxiety.

Firstly, a distinction must be made between worry and anxiety. Worry is when you are unsure and nervous of something, whether that be starting a new school or speaking in public. Anxiety on the other hand, is a sense of doom. You believe that your existence is in jeopardy and that you cannot be saved. In addition to this feeling of hopelessness, you can’t help but ask the question,”What if”? Continue Reading

Thoughts

Hello from the Other Side

“I think of my life as a garden and in that garden I am trying to grow sunflowers. Day after day, I throw seeds at the soil and water it with all that I know. However, the seeds never manifest into my desires and instead I am left with weeds that show no mercy. Moral of the story, I am losing faith in sunflowers.”

I wrote that one week ago. I think it is safe to say that I was depressed and even now that the darkness has lifted its foot, I still feel a little grim. This is my reality though. Because of my experiences and the configuration of my mind, I will always be susceptible to sadness.  Continue Reading

Thoughts

The Neverending Eating Disorder

eating disorder

It has nearly been a year since I had an eating disorder. I cannot describe to you the exact moment I was cured, but in more ways than one, I would say that I am. I no longer refuse myself the nourishment of food, hinge my worth on weight, lock myself in my room, destroy relationships and loathe life.

Despite my achievements, there is one thing that has been immune to all antidotes; My mind. It has been scientifically proven that repeated behaviour causes certain neuron paths to become etched within the mind. That is what happened to me. Months and months of self-hatred and restriction slowly became normalised and now, even though I am recovered, I struggle to expel certain thoughts. Continue Reading

Thoughts

The Duty of a Mother

At university earlier this year, I was presented with the challenge of taking two photos, photoshopping them together and creating a statement. Naturally, I leant towards the controversial and thus the above image was created.

The effects of alcoholism on pregnancy is an issue that never leaves the media spotlight. A simple search on Google provides me with the following headlines; “Don’t Judge Me For Having That Glass Of Wine While Pregnant”, New numbers prompt new warnings about drinking during pregnancy”, “How Much Can You Safely Drink While Pregnant?” Those are only three of the approximate 998,000 search results.  Continue Reading