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health

Thoughts

Gay, Bald & Ginger

gay, bald & ginger

“You look like a giraffe”, “gay bald ginger”, “Damn your foreheads gigantic.”

That is a mere goody-bag of what is said about me on the internet. The reality is, people don’t like me. I am in a homosexual relationship, I have an abnormally large forehead, my voice is high, I have freckles and I openly share my opinions. Those attributes come together to create difference and even though we are living in a progressive era, those who are different are still crucified… I am crucified.

This article does not contain a cure. I am unsure of how to open the minds of the ignorant and fill them with the knowledge that we are all collectively human. I wish I could do that but the history of this world has taught me that no matter how hard you try, some people will always be left unconvinced. On that basis, I only want to share with you what I am sure of; myself. Continue Reading

Thoughts

I Bite My Fingernails

fingernails

I cannot conjure any memory of having long fingernails because I never have. Since birth my fingers have always been in my mouth and my teeth have always been fixated on removing the nails from their rightful place. I never quite understood the motivation behind such an act, but I now have clarity; I live with anxiety.

Firstly, a distinction must be made between worry and anxiety. Worry is when you are unsure and nervous of something, whether that be starting a new school or speaking in public. Anxiety on the other hand, is a sense of doom. You believe that your existence is in jeopardy and that you cannot be saved. In addition to this feeling of hopelessness, you can’t help but ask the question,”What if”? Continue Reading

Thoughts

Hello from the Other Side

“I think of my life as a garden and in that garden I am trying to grow sunflowers. Day after day, I throw seeds at the soil and water it with all that I know. However, the seeds never manifest into my desires and instead I am left with weeds that show no mercy. Moral of the story, I am losing faith in sunflowers.”

I wrote that one week ago. I think it is safe to say that I was depressed and even now that the darkness has lifted its foot, I still feel a little grim. This is my reality though. Because of my experiences and the configuration of my mind, I will always be susceptible to sadness.  Continue Reading

Thoughts

The Neverending Eating Disorder

eating disorder

It has nearly been a year since I had an eating disorder. I cannot describe to you the exact moment I was cured, but in more ways than one, I would say that I am. I no longer refuse myself the nourishment of food, hinge my worth on weight, lock myself in my room, destroy relationships and loathe life.

Despite my achievements, there is one thing that has been immune to all antidotes; My mind. It has been scientifically proven that repeated behaviour causes certain neuron paths to become etched within the mind. That is what happened to me. Months and months of self-hatred and restriction slowly became normalised and now, even though I am recovered, I struggle to expel certain thoughts. Continue Reading

Thoughts

The Duty of a Mother

At university earlier this year, I was presented with the challenge of taking two photos, photoshopping them together and creating a statement. Naturally, I leant towards the controversial and thus the above image was created.

The effects of alcoholism on pregnancy is an issue that never leaves the media spotlight. A simple search on Google provides me with the following headlines; “Don’t Judge Me For Having That Glass Of Wine While Pregnant”, New numbers prompt new warnings about drinking during pregnancy”, “How Much Can You Safely Drink While Pregnant?” Those are only three of the approximate 998,000 search results.  Continue Reading

Thoughts

We All Need to Relax

Let me tell you about my week. It began by travelling three hours on a plane to a little town in Australia that averages 30°C – 40°C each day. I then met two of my nephews for the first time and attempted to settle down in the place that I am to call home for the next three months.

It was all going well. It really was. I explored a few waterfalls, fell in love with the eternal heat, went for a morning run along the beach and sought out a job to compliment my summer. The positivity was short-lived though. Continue Reading

Thoughts

Why Go Vegan?

vegan

vegan (noun). a person who does not eat or use animal products.

Whenever someone becomes aware of my veganism, these are their typical responses:

“I couldn’t give up bacon!”
“Do you feel weak?”
“Isn’t it expensive?”
“What about chocolate?”
“What about ice-cream?”
“What about bacon?”
“Where do you get your protein from?”

Although these are all very intelligent reactions, there is one in particular that drove me to write this article; “Isn’t it just another diet?”

Referring to my lifestyle as a diet makes me want to kick you in the head and hope that by some miracle, the impact will reconfigure your brain. I eat the way I eat and I live the way I live for reasons that transcend weight and appearance. Continue Reading

Thoughts

What It Feels like to Lose Your Hair

losing hair

We live in an era of selfies, narcissism and high beauty standards. Even the most down-to-earth of us, still place great importance in the physical. It is hard to escape from our reflections because they have become us. Therefore, when something dramatic happens to the way we look, we perceive it to be something dramatic happening to who we are.

This is exactly what I have experienced time and time again. I have gone through hair loss three times now. The first time, an eating disorder pulled clumps of hair from my scalp. The second time, stress ripped my hair from its roots. Now for the third time, stress has returned or maybe male-pattern baldness has begun, and my hair is becoming thinner. Continue Reading

Thoughts

Bullying Doesn’t End with School

bullying

Throughout my thirteen years of school, I was the kid on the left. I was called names, thrown to the floor, punched in the head and ultimately taught of my inferiority. However, the defining moment happened during a camp. I was in the bathroom taking a shower and a few of the other kids stole my clothes. After an hour of unreciprocated screaming, I realised what had to be done. I ran out the bathroom and into the main hallway. Everyone stood in the doorways laughing as my bare bottom sprinted to safety. From that day forth, I swore an oath to introversion. I would become one of the shadows on the wall because nobody notices them and thus they are left alone.

The oath was broken in my senior years of high school. I managed to muster some confidence and stop hiding. I made new friends, went to parties, joined clubs and somehow found my voice. I think when everyone is on the brink of adulthood, bullying becomes a habit of the past. Maturity shows them that difference should be celebrated, not persecuted. Based on this, I thought that the end of school would bring about the end of bullying. I was stupid. Continue Reading