It’s been a while. It’s been a long while. The Christmas tree has resurrected, summer is awakening from hibernation, and New Year’s will bring about that cliche “this year will be different” bullshit. For the first time though, I think it might be.
This past month has been a concoction of happenings. I finished university, I travelled to Fiji, I began a postgraduate full-time job, I was confronted with an opportunity that had the potential to change everything, and I stopped writing. I hate that I did that last thing. I filter all that I am through the words that appear to me, and because I stopped writing them down, I became a little lost. In saying that, I think that sometimes it’s okay to be lost. If you only exist in content, how will you ever gain an appreciation of that contentment? Continue Reading
For the past two months I have been chipping away at a sculpture in an attempt to show with it humanity. I was unsatisfied with how the media tends to only nurture the stories of the rich and famous, and thought that by profiling everyday people in my life, I could show the grit of the ‘ordinary’. Did I succeed? No I did not… the people I interviewed did.
Whether it be Maxine and the revelation she came to with her first child, Saskia and the songs she conjures from torture, or Emma and her experience at an eating disorder clinic… they were the ones that shared with the world their narratives, and in doing so, got people to consider the kind of narratives they consume.
Those I interviewed are inextricably tied to my existence and therefore, in some abstract way, I’ve been painting a picture of myself. Now it’s time to unveil it. Who is Thorne? Perhaps if I answer some of the questions from previous interviews, the answer will emerge. Continue Reading
I don’t think I have ever been as nervous to write, as I am in this moment. The woman you are about to see dance in the spotlight, is the reason I am still able to dance. I met her in my junior year of high school, at a time when I was the embodiment of silence, self-hatred and my father’s suicide. Like now, I found great refuge in the written word, and all that I felt and desired to feel, was contained in the ink that I spread across pages. One day I gave her some of those pages. She took them, and loved them, and made them into what I never could.
Maxine is a qualified drama therapist, a founding member of the Healing Through Arts trust, and a woman who bequeaths onto all, the knowingness that they are enough. The charitable trust, of which is her livelihood, was founded in 1994, and uses the intricacies of theatre to nurture the humanity within us all. One demographic that is in perpetual need of this service, is the youth, and Maxine steps up time and time again, to answer their screams. Continue Reading
“How do you want people to remember you after you die?”
How do I want people to remember me, or how will they remember me?
Check and mate. Matthew is the most argumentative person I know (besides myself), and even in the context of interviewing him for an article that’s meant to positively reflect his humanity, he still managed to remain antagonistic as fuck. Each and every question was an opportunity to foster an argument, and the first thing you should know about Matthew, is that he’s an opportunist. That said, there is logic behind this man’s madness.
I think that sometimes people can express their true selves when they’re angry. When you’re in an argument and your adrenaline is running, you just open up. That’s kind of when the real you comes out.
For the most part, we seem to only be interested in the voices of the famous and distinguished, because apparently “fame” and “status” is what makes someone worthy of being heard. There may be some truth to this. Those kinds of people have experiences that deviate from the ordinary and there is a lot to be learnt from the unordinary. Nevertheless, everyday people; the ones that don’t live in the limelight, they have voices of value too.
Based on the above train of thought, I have decided to begin a series on this blog called Human. It will showcase prominent people in my life, their stories and the essence of their humanity. Gradually it will also assemble a puzzle of who I associate myself with, and how those people determine who I am. Continue Reading
Are you shook? Most people are when I tell them I want to be a teacher. In fact, they protest the very thought and insist that I pursue another career path.
“There’s no money in teaching.”
“You won’t last long.”
Fuck you. Fuck each and every one of you who conjure such words with your mouth and force them upon me. I sincerely apologise for my inability to align myself with what you deem as worthy, but in saying that, I do not apologise at all. I want to be a teacher and if that unsettles you, then so be it. However, if you would like to open your mind for perhaps the first time in your life, then keep reading. Continue Reading
I have recently been listening to the podcast What’s The Tea, featuring RuPaul and the gorgeous Michelle Visage. As an avid fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race, I expected the podcast to be an extension of the show; a platform to talk about the Drag Queens and the competition. However, after only one episode, I have been bitch-slapped and taught that I should never go making assumptions.
RuPaul and Michelle actually delve into the oddities of life and question why we are here, how we are here and what we are here for. They constantly refer to the ‘human condition’ and how we are all students of the world, being taught lessons that manifest themselves in a multitude of ways. They stitch these philosophical muses into popular culture, interviews with guests and above all humour, which in my opinion, makes the podcast more ‘bingeable’ than Drag Race itself. Continue Reading
Alcohol is a peculiar potion; a single glass of it containing hysteria. My sense of self becomes one that I can no longer control. It’s almost as if the prisoner within me, the prisoner that is me, is set free. My inhibitions become myths, a once upon a time fairytale. I listen to the music, the music in the speakers, the music in the air, and I am taken into the rhythm of all sound. My body begins to mimic the beat but then it becomes the beat, speaking only the language of dance and truth. I see those around me, not as reflections of my worth, but as reflections of life. I speak to them with an honest tongue, liberating their prisoners, placing crowns upon their heads. I do not know the science of this, I do not know how, but yesterday I wished for death and today I wish for a thousand years. All that I deemed impossible has proved me wrong, and now everything sits in the front of my mind demanding manifestation. I can do everything, I think. Actually, I can do everything, I know. However, what I don’t know is that when dawn comes, the shadows will too. I will be locked in darkness, once again dreaming of escape, and a man that is allegedly me, will pick up a gun and hold it to my head.
Statistically speaking, the majority of us will never be royals because only 1% of us can be the 1%. We all have dreams, we all have creative expression and we all have a genuine desire to be distinguished from our pairs. For most of us though, none of it will ever be reciprocated. How do we continue with our lives knowing that our dreams may remain dreams and that our lives may never be remembered? Continue Reading
A little under a week ago, I decided to cease the use of all social media for 30 days. I saw this detox as necessary because I realised that somehow, I had convinced myself that social media was necessary. This realisation along with knowing that life is awfully short, sent me into complete hysteria. I immediately deleted the apps from my phone and blocked the websites from my computer. Goodbye Facebook. Goodbye Instagram. Goodbye Snapchat. I was on a mission to prove to myself that I could exist in this world without social media and furthermore, that I would exist better without it.
Before I continue, you have to understand the irony of this situation. I am in my third year of university, studying a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in English & New Media Studies. Some of my assignments literally involve using social media and a lot of the theory I study, is about social media. However, I kind of think that this is what led me to my Britney Spears meltdown. Continue Reading